Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 2 Phase 1 - 2nd round

Beginning Weight 155.2
Current Weight 158.2 (after "load"day)

***Update!! I want to make sure everyone knows that I made a change, this post was incorrect. I was on day 2 of Phase 1, not sure why I forgot I needed two "load" days******

So today is my first day on round 2. I am really hoping to lose the last 15 pounds, but I think I will be even happier if I can lose 20. I feel real good when I put on my current clothes and they are too big. Some of them are at the point of not being comfortable because they are too big. Those are the size 14's that I had. This weekend I will be pulling those out of the closet, making sure they are clean and packing them away for someone else's use.
Last night I looked at myself in the mirror (which is a bit on the scary side) and I know I have lost weight, but I was disgusted with the amount of back fat I have and this extra skin on my stomach is pretty disturbing too. I know that I will always have that due to the scar tissue from the double hernia operation when I was a child. I also have to accept the fact that I am getting older and my Jacobson butt is not going to become a "ba donk a donk" butt. Sadly it will always be flat and long, not fat and wide. I just know it does not look cute in a bathing suit.
This entire weight loss journey has been an accepting phase for me as well. Growing up I was always so skinny and being made fun of because of it, has caused body image issues for me. As a teenager I had the hardest time finding jeans that would fit. Growing up in a large family it was uncommon to have brand named clothes, such as Calvin Klein, which I wanted very much. When I was finally able to get a pair I was not able to find any that fit with my 5 foot 7 inch height in a double zero. Most of the jeans in that size were too short. For many years all sizes were numbered like mens pants are now, then somewhere along the line women's clothing sizes were changed to 0 and up. Mostly I had to buy zero's and then put in cheater stitches.
When I became pregnant with my first child, 27 years ago, I thought I would put on some weight. The day I went into labor I was wearing a size 5 (not maternity) three days later when I left the hospital I wore a size 3. Within the first 2 weeks I was back down to my normal size. As the years went on I did gain weight, but I didn't exercise, I didn't worry about what I ate and only after I hit my 30's did I put on a lot of weight. I didn't think I was getting heavy, because the Jane in my mind was a twig.
When I was 35 or so, I went into to have day surgery and during the surgery my heart stopped, briefly, but it was still a concern, so the dotors sent me home with a heart monitor to see if there was a heart condition, turns out there wasn't. It was determined that my weight was the issue. I weighed 198 pounds. I needed to lose weight! Since I am a bit stubborn and very determined, I started to watch what I ate, I took my normal food servings and cut everything in half, putting it on another plate. I started walking and doing other exercises and I lost weight, 33 pounds! But it wasn't long before I fell back into the same pattern of eating, because I didn't learn to how to eat right, just less.
After doing this diet the first time and seeing that I was able to maintain the loss for 3 weeks, I know now that I have really learned how to eat the right way. I have adapted my shopping habits to read the contents and all the nutritional information. I have taught myself to not reach for the easy way of making a dinner and found that fresh food is so much better tasting and does not take as long to prepare as I remembered. I am sure that a lot of that is because my girls are all grown up now, so there isn't such a rush to get dinner done and cleaned up so that there is time for homework, baths, preparing for the next day and still trying to fit quality time together.
As I conitnue to grow, skinny and personally, I will continue to share my insights (whether you want to here them or not :) ).
I am off to conquer my weight and take control of my life. Happy losing everyone!

2 comments:

  1. It's funny - I never wanted to gain weight, but I was thin during my teen years as well. I was just short, so I didn't seem so skinny, I guess. When I was 15, I wore a size 3, and at 16 or 17 could still wear the dress Mom made me for my 7th grade dance with I was 12. When I went into the Air Force, I was at about 115 - when I came out of basic training, after the work outs and muscle gain, I was at 117. Who, at the time, could have guessed that I would topple the scales at 203 at any time in my life? When I was a teen, and began to put on curves, I thought I was fat. I wasted years thinking I was fat. If I thought of myself as fat at 120 or less, you know that my imagination could never conjure a me as big as I actually became.

    I've been off the drops for a week now, and am maintaining pretty well. I'm having some ups and downs with water weight - and I know I'm having some issues with water retention. Having a sit-down job doesn't help at all. Yesterday when I was home most of the day, I finally popped in the DVD's of Betsy's belly dance teacher, Ava Fleming. I did some upper body isolations, which are not easy. I thought I'd work on them for awhile, get my abdominal and pectoral muscles into shape. Hopefully it will positively affect my back-fat issues, too. I wonder how much of it is fat and how much just poorly toned muscle.

    My eating habits have definitely gotten better, and I enjoy a good, fresh tomato and a slice of cheese for lunch, with a Melba Snack as though it were a restaurant meal. I've failed, however, at giving up diet soda this time around. I had some left over, and nobody else will drink it - so I will not purchase any more, and when I do my 2nd round of the diet, I will give it up then. I'm sure it has something to do with my water retention.

    Well, Jane - keep us all posted, and we'll see where it gets us!

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  2. All I can say is padded underwear!

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